CHILDREN ARE GOD’S PROMISE ©™
by Daria G. Brzezinski, Ph.D.
“Children are God’s promise that life will continue on this planet”, prophesized Black Elk. There is much sensationalism, publication and circus atmosphere around newly born children labeling them with a multitude of etheric titles such as ‘Indigo’ or ‘Star Children’. Many countries such as China, Russia, USA and Argentina are reporting
precocious children with abilities like precognition (to foresee the future), psychokenesis (memory in touch), clairvoyance (objects unseen by senses), clairaudience (hearing sounds not normally audible), telepathy (mind read). Although these abilities in children might be considered novel, the precursors can be found from ancient times (Oracle of Delphi, mystics and alchemists) up to and including the baby boomers, X and Y (Why)-generations. Most psychologists and psychiatrists agree that those who exhibit intuitive (psychic, sensitive) abilities as adults overwhelmingly come from abusive childhoods (See Battered Boundaries by Dr. Henry Reed or Childhood Sexual Abuse and Memory Syndrome by Robert A. Baker). During the formative years, these abused children never develop normal ‘coping mechanisms’. These individuals lack discrimination and discernment skills (reading body language, listening for verbal cues and intonations, the subtle energies). Without a ‘filtering device’, the brain accesses multitudes of stimuli, energy fields and wavelengths. There seems to be an additional genetic correlation between parents who are intuitive passing it to their offspring. Personally I believe that ALL children are sensitive-intuitives at birth (and before). The enculturation, socialization and fear-based environment atrophies any inclinations towards the spiritual realm. What can be done to foster and encourage the healthy growth of children, their psychic abilities, deep sense of life purpose, balance, joy and happiness?
Spirituality or Religious?
In an effort to find and develop the Child of God, one must first understand the distinction between the ‘religious’ child and the ‘spiritual’ child because ALLchildren are spiritual but not all children are religious. Spirutality is a rightand a freedom; religion is a priviledge and a liberty. Spirituality is our birthright.
Religion is a choice. The differentiation between ‘spiritual’ and ‘religious’ needs to be addressed for the sake of clarity. Religion is a reflection of the ‘social order’. It is a dogma-based discipline (formulated by a man, of course) defined by the historical times, the people and needs of the era. It contains rituals and rites, rules of order and daily behavior for the general masses to conform to as well as ‘higher truths’. For the most part, the necessary ingredient in ‘religion’ is the predominance of a ‘father figure’ who is the intermediary of God to humanity. Without this ‘middle man’ be it priest, bishop, minister, rabbi, yogi or leader, the religion would fall apart as God would not have a channel for conveying higher wisdom. For most of the world, objects of adoration are a MUST in religion whether these are holy places (like walls, churches and shrines), holy texts which deploy the ‘word’ AND sacred objects, bones, relics, even corpses (the ‘immortals’), chalices, crosses, towels (in the USA, money is the primary object of veneration next to collecting ‘things’ and homage to the TV screen or computer). These objects hold reverence due to their connection with a personage or event or social status (Adoration of movie actors are called ‘stars’). There is so much fervor around these objects that whole sciences have emerged around them – for example, Biblical Archeology (which seeks to prove the veracity of the events and objects mentioned in the Bible). The ‘word’ is to be followed literally no matter how distant the time with which it has been set to print. For these are the words of the holiest of holies and uphold the basic ‘truths’ for all time. Generally, the notion of highest universal truths is found in the personification of some male who always a miraculous birth like Jesus, Confucius, Mohammed, Zoroaster, Lao Tsu and Buddha. (The irony of religious fervor is that alternate sciences have emerged which questions the authenticity, authority, truths and personages in biblical and religious texts. As the sciences expand into more diverse archaeologies, as more and more ancient civilizations are uncovered from sands and bogs, mud, water and clay, a totally different view of his-story is emerging from the shores of North America to the pyramids of Egypt. A whole new understanding of the past is unfolding for scholars, theologians and scientists. These studies note that religions are, in fact, amalgamations of the multitude of beliefs of the day, the traditions of the times, the customs of the communities and the oral, pictorial communications that are handed down from generation to generation.
On the other hand, ‘spirituality’ is a personal connection with the All-that-is, All-knowing, All-seeing power and architect that pervades the universe and life on earth. It aligns itself with the ‘mothering principles’ of nurturing the body, mind, spirit, emotion with the individual as conduit for contemplating, understanding and ‘knowing’ universal truths. Scientifically, the spirit can be measured in every human being at the moment of death. When the last breath is released, the physical body becomes lighter by nine (9) grams. There is an invisible something that ‘drives’ life. It is this ‘something’ that provides the Aliveness, intangible qualities. It is this substance, which the seeker attempts to understand, communicate, enliven and bring forth through the perceptual functions of the body. There are many names referring to this inner substance; the soul, spirit, conscience and still-small quiet voice. Whatever the term, it is generally agreed that the stuff that supplies the universe with life energizes the human body as well. While some people choose to perpetuate the ‘status quo’, stay in the flow, repeat tradition and ritual, spiritualists pursue this intangible essence in an effort to ‘birth it forth’ into the world. When the barriers and limitations of the body and its perceptions are traversed and conquered, the body-mind-heart connection experiences an awakening to higher thought processes and vibrations- Consciousness, Nirvana, Euphoria- to an understanding with the ‘whole’ and its inner workings. Individuals on a ‘spiritual quest’ seek to defy convention, follow intuition to the overthrow of logic, allow the heart to guide the journey, seek to control themselves rather than others, and believe that the infinite possibilities that exist in the universe can be brought into existence in the present. Spiritual individuals ‘just know’ how to behave, treat each other, live a holy life because to do otherwise would be inconceivable. To do otherwise would be to hurt one’s self as an aspect of the whole. Spiritualists understand that when a blade of grass is harmed or an insect or any other parts of the universe, the human body is affected in kind.
What is the New Age, Anyway? By Jack Clarke
It’s people taking conscious responsibility for their own lives, not blaming others for their problems.
It’s people who deliberately decide to learn and grow.
It’s people that don’t have to be right, except for themselves.
It’s people seeing problems as lessons, perhaps in a long series of lives and lessons.
It’s people who believe we are what we think we are, and can change ourselves by changing our thinking.
It’s people that feel they can change the world by changing themselves, not by trying to change others.
It’s people who search for strength from the universe by going inside themselves.
It’s people that recognize love doesn’t have to have conditions attached.
It’s people loving and knowing themselves in order to better know and love others.
It’s people who see others as not better than nor less than, but rather different than,
themselves, yet part of the same whole.
It’s people that choose their own path rather than follow dogma.
It’s people honoring your right to your own path, not theirs.
It’s people who realize that now is all we have, since yesterday is just a thought and so is tomorrow.
It’s people interested in owning themselves rather than pain, having experienced enough pain already.
It’s people curious about extra sensory perception and all it implies.
It’s people in all walks of life, from business persons to flower essence healers, psychologists to UFO investigators.
New Age is not a new religion with a hierarchy of priests and rituals, seeking converts, though some new agers choose some ritual.
New Age is not often gloom and doomers, though many are concerned about ecology, the economy and other forces that affect our world.
New Age is not a movement based on guilt, anger, fear and hurt; it is a journey toward the love that is God.
New Age is not allegiance to one master; it is learning from many masters in the quest for the oneness of God.
New Age could not become a cult because of what is said above.
New Age is not just human doing, it is human being.
Economic History
A brief historical narrative is necessary in order to ascertain WHAT the current skills and needs of children might be. If the Chinese philosophy of yin-yang is a constant reality for
maintaining universal balance then both E-volution (consciousness, self-help, intentional living) and De-volution (apathy, unconsciousness, fear) coexist among people everywhere at the same time. The mineral kingdom is a metaphor for the De-volution model as the means of exchange has digressed from gold (about 5,000 years ago), to silver, then copper, bronze, iron, paper, plastic and synthetics (today). The animal kingdom, on the other hand, reflects E-volution (amoeba, fish, amphibian, reptiles, land animals, birds and humans) to higher and higher forms of complex creatures. However, as the economic means of exchange has digressed father and farther away from nature, so has the human experience- the interconnection between body, mind, spirit and emotion, the macrocosm and microcosm. For some, this digression has welcomed the advances of technology, pharmaceuticals, synthetics, reality as an external experience, dependence upon institutions to lead and direct life (Insurance companies, government), AND the extension of an adolescent mental mindset beyond age appropriateness. On the other side of the coin, individuals have developed towards more spiritual, heart-felt modes of existence emphasizing ecology, humane treatment of human and animal species, ‘soul’ purpose, self-help, metaphysics, Eastern religions, simple lifestyles, Green politics, holistic medicine, developing inter and intradependent skills. What do children have to gain or lose from all this?
Physiology
Heralding this dichotomy, there are many extreme polarities among infants and children in areas of physiology, psychology and cognition. There is most certainly a leap in awareness, an accelerated rate at which children (and adults) learn and process information. Some children are exhibiting a slight deviation in cranial structure- a protrusion of the prefrontal lobe parallel to the nose, a physiological leap in the genetic timeline that may hint at greater cognitive abilities. By contrast in America, the third generation of cocaine, heroine, alcohol and marijuana addicted children (acquired through biology, genetics and/or behavior of parents) are swelling and overburdening handicap classrooms as well as lowering the level of achievement and expectation of the ‘norm’. There is much ado about the status of the public school system, American values, parenting skills and the host of other issues that surround children. While the medical and psychology professions are inventing many illusive illnesses and diseases to account for the creative, out-of-box, bilaterally intelligent children that do not fit the mold of ‘dumbing down’ (in order to turn them into drug addicted, complacent citizens), there are parents and educators as well as health professionals who are choosing otherwise. In light of this, ALL children are special and unique, deserving an opportunity in life to achieve fulfillment.
Education
For the most part, the Golden Rule prevails in the western world- whoever has the gold, makes the rules. Over the last 50 years, laws have been enacted that dilute the learning experience of children from self-motivated to spoon-fed, from privilege to right, as the country moves towards the ever elusive ‘norm’. The seeking of some philosophical form of ‘perfection’ defined by the media, government, schools, judges, society, legislatures or medical professionals drives us further away from Comprehensive Wellness©™ and Purposeful Living. These laws have prohibited ANY novel, creative, humane, questioning driven educational model to be introduced in the US. Everything is leveled to the playing field of the public school system- time spent units, imposed subject based curriculum, testing, teacher as motivating force, student as subjective force, no input from the participants in the learning process (student, teacher, principle, parent), adnauseum. More and more band-aids, including money, are implemented to fix the broken machine. If there were a vending machine outside the office and it continually produced broken crackers, you might not waste your money. However, there are some industrious folk who would wrap scotch tape, black electrical tape, masking tape and duct tape around the machine to get it to work. Along comes a co-worker who pries open the machine to fix its contents only to find that the machine was designed to eject hard taffy not soft crackers. The machine needs new internal mechanisms and infrastructure in order for the crackers to surface whole. Such is the issue with the education ‘system’. Quick fix shortcuts are used to attempt to mend a machine that needs a complete overhaul in infrastructure to reflect the interests of society, needs of the child and times of the US. The infrastructure was originally designed for an agrarian society, then an industrialized nation, and now, in the age of information technology, it is obsolete.
The historical driving force in the American economy is creating products and services ‘more, bigger, better, faster’ often rendering systems and things that work obsolete yet functional. The very ‘best’ that education had to offer was found in the One Room Schoolhouse- manageable size, individual instruction, community connection, cooperation between ages, relevance of subject matter, close cooperation between teacher, parents and community, allowances for differences in learning styles and rates of learning, the list is endless for the benefits of a system that produced the greatest leaders and thinkers in history. The origins of the current educational model (Catherine the Great 1616) were forced into enactment at the end of the 19th century in order to create good soldiers, factory workers and tax paying citizens (and clock watchers). The current curriculum of instruction was designed from the prison system reinforced by textbook profiteering. Even though it is known that an atmosphere of safety and security is imperative for optimum growth and development of children, this subversive ‘war-defense-punishment driven model’ has come full circle with generals as superintendents, scanners and cast iron window bars, soldiers to police halls. This enables the mass production of fearful, lethargic, apathetic, uncreative, unthinking robotrons- broken crackers- while the US must import its scientists, physicians and intellectuals and outsource its technical services to India. But then, if the citizenry of the US could think, question and protest, career politicians would not exist nor would secrecy in governments or corporations. AND the media would be uncovering any issues that conflict with constitutional mandates. AND teaching, parenting and the nurturing of our children would be a priority (the high regard reflected in the economic fortunes of these rather than corporate presidents).
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Here are practical measures, which can be incorporated in everyday life WITHOUT the need to change any existing laws or divert any system. However, these MIGHT take considerable effort, energy, time and a rethinking of philosophies and beliefs to accomplish them. The adults who embark on this journey of redesigning learning environments for children, must in effect, grow, change and transform themselves in the process. Those who condemn the past are compelled to repeat it. Those who have attempted to establish alternate pathways for children as a reaction to the anger and hatred from their own past experiences, accomplish more anger and hatred and little change. Those who are able to transform themselves into loving, compassionate, empathetic human beings, transform the landscape forever. (Suggestions listed below are complimented with publications and texts, as space does not allow for extensive explanation of each topic)
1) Raising sensitive, intuitive children can never be achieved within a cookie cutter model framework. Follow your heart with compassion and defy tradition when it comes to the children. That being said, Joseph Chilton Pearce (a local resident) has been the forerunner on defining the developmental stages of children from a spiritual, humane, loving perspective in his series of books on developmental psychology beginning with the first Magical Child. Joe’s work has been used (and abused) for many years in medicine, education and the media. It is rare to find someone who actually practices what they preach. The fact that his children were the direct recipients of his research, principles and techniques is rare for a theorist. Joe’s work has been used (and abused) for many years.
2) Bonding at Birth:
Demand natural, possibly home birthing with minimal environmental stimuli.
The Secret Life of the Unborn Child by Thomas Verny, MD is valuable in cognitive depth of the unborn, prenatal health and birthing environment. The brain is pre-programmed prior to birth like a seed (containing all the information to grow the plant) about to sprout. Prior to birth, for example, an abundance of neurons exists, almost twice the number necessary for life. While passing through the birth canal, the numbers are extinguished and a manageable number remain. The question lingers, what happens to the children who are C-section birthed? With an abundance of neurons, a child might become autistic or ADD unable to attend to the number of stimuli that invades perception. Also, birth traumas lingering into adulthood, are circumvented through techniques that address these preverbal memories such as Rebirthing (by Sondra Ray), regression or EMDR.
The significance of BIRTH TRAUMA cannot be overstated during the last few generations of desensitized birthing practices. Bright lights, loud noises, forceps, taking child away from mom, cold rooms and dressing tables, slapping child on backside, invading the tiny body with syringe or circumcising, ALL equal birth trauma that is programmed into the child mind. More compassionate means of birthing exist with Lamaze, Water Birthing, Midwifery and Home Births. Unfortunately, the medical profession has instilled fear into generations of women who have lost the ability to ‘bond’ with their children before, at and after birth. Indigenous women are so ‘in-tune’ with their children that when it is time to defecate while at the mother’s chest, the child is held out at arms length, wiped with a leaf and returned to breast. From prenatal to post, the birthing experience has been proven to be the most significant for ‘bonding’. In a 25year study of violent and non-violent societies, Dr. James Prescott (formerly of the NIH) found that caressing and touching from the mother figure was a greater drive and need than food when hungry. His research also revealed that the lack of maternal bonding had a direct correlation to later life- violent adolescent boys. The importance of a nurturing environment prior to and after birth is imperative. If unattended, it can lead to severe problems in puberty and adulthood.
3) Raising a Spiritual Child
Spirituality is defined by the intangibles qualities of life- integrity, honesty, grace, wisdom, compassion, empathy, awe and gratitude. In a world virtually devoid of spirituality and full of materiality, Whole Parent/Whole Child by Polly Berrien Berends is a refreshing glimpse of raising a healthy child with a spiritual foundation.
As art, music and dance are eliminated from schools and home (relegated to entertainment to be observed) activities, the soul-spirits of youth seek outlets in anti-social behavior. The unmanifest spirits and souls of youths adorn cities, streets, bridges, subways and buildings with GRAFETTI. From America to Europe and beyond, the names and initials creatively and artistically designed by youth screaming to be heard and noticed are everywhere. Adults have a more sophisticated flair using license plates, initials on clothing or monogrammed towels. These little signs indicate a soul-spirit reaching out, saying, “Here I am, notice me. Otherwise I am invisible in this world of chaos, desensitization and inhumanity”. What can be done to nurture the soul-spirit again?
The Native American cultures believe that abundance is directly related to the amount of ‘giving back’. When an apple is presented by the tree, its seeds are replanted into the ground (preferably near the tree) as a gesture of ‘thanks’. Appreciation and Gratitude are hallmarks, cornerstones of a spiritual life. Manners, thank you notes, night prayers are all part of this expression. Children enhance their souls when gifts are homemade- ornaments, chimes, trivets, pillows, monogram towels, dried flower arrangements are some of the presents that develop spiritual qualities from an early age develop focus and attention span and provide an opportunity for quality interaction between parent and child. The Institute of HeartMath in Boulder Creek, California has for more than 25 years researched the effects of appreciation with dramatic results like elevating the cortisol levels in the body. The spiritual way is gratitude, the prelude of ‘grace’.
4) Creating Emotional Maturity and A Tolerant Disposition
How is it that we have come to equate intangible love with the tangible heart? What does an emotion look like? Is a ‘heart attack’ a sign of a broken heart?
In a room of 100 people, each will have a different definition of love and emotional maturity. Love is an emotionally charged word conjuring different images for everyone.
Romance, physical affection for some and abuse for others. Emotions are the ‘juice’ the gas in our tank that propels life. Emotions affect physiology- if child or spouse or loved one is dying in hospital, can you concentrate on work? American society disdains overt emotions unless it is in an appropriate venue- hockey, football, sports, boxing, or a response to tragedy or trauma like 911, the 12 tsunami or Katrina. Yet during a catastrophe, it is stirred emotion that propels humane action. When heartstrings are plucked, the emotions are aroused.
EMDR is a system designed to bring into conscious awareness preverbal trauma (as well as adult trauma) in a non-verbal manner and subliminal. The Breakthrough Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, Trauma by Francine Shapiro and Margot Silk Forrest.
Value in society on Brilliant children are most often emotionally immature and more capable of suppressing emotions: If only one aspect of self is
Developed, out of balance occurs. We live in the land of denial and suppression of feelings which leads to depression, moos swings, etc.
Teaching Children to Love both by Doc Lew Childre from the Institute of HeartMath.
Children take things literally and to heart- NOT flexible and resilient or pliant RATHER adjust, deny, submerge divorce= not trust in love TV, ADD C-Alis Jackson….TEARS are the cleansing of the soul like water cleans clothes, washes body from microorganisms and flushes dirt from internal organs and filters, perspiration cleans too. Yet society frowns upon displays of emotion as ‘soft, feminine’, a negative connotation. Nonetheless, the soft side is creeping into business and industry (Blink, Maxwell) as it must be addressed from infancy onward. Big Boys Don’t Cry and Neither Do Girls (until you reach menopause or mid-life and THEN the tears flow like rain).
Denial, submerging feelings, are all part of ‘new age’ airy, fairy mentality to somehow create a better world by denying the shadows lurking in the darkness (that eventually creep up and bite us in the behind) or the skeletons in the closet. WHATEVER you deny will chase you and eventually catch up with you. Day and night, love and hate has blurred demarcation lines. When EXACTLY does day begin and night end? “So only the good in life, the bright light and do not focus on evil or bad and it will somehow go away.” Statements like these perpetuate the lack of ability in discrimination and discernment skills allowing situations to plow over or blind side.
Loving as Time Spent; mom home-work vs materialism;
Touch, massage at night to go to bed, read, soft music, no TV in room or computer; place for quiet and relax; assimilate information from day, dinner by candlelight, meals together grounding and stabilizing the homes…
9) Healing the Child Body Naturally Books specific to children and health are numerous. Your Body’s Many Cries for Water by Dr. F. Batmanghelidj
A Shot In The Dark by Harris L. Coulter and Barbara Lou Fisher AND What Every Parent Should Know About Childhood Immunizations by Jamie Murphy.
There are a variety of alternative treatments to EVERYTHING. My children did not have immunization shots nor were some of the boys circumcised and are now healthy adults. They are all healthy and had nothing acute other than colds and flu. An eye-opening book is the Body Ecology Diet: recovering Your Health and Rebuilding Your Immune System by Donna Gates. Using ‘Live Blood Analysis’ (this is recommended if done by a licensed practitioner like Cynthia Binder in VA Beach who is a nutritionist, chemist, biologist or
medical professional avoid persons who selling supplements). It is estimated that nearly 90% of our population suffers from Candida or yeast infections. Our children eat too much sugar, carbohydrates and imbalanced diets that allow for systemic yeast infections to multiply and eventually become imbedded in the organs. Any number of maladies and symptoms appear from earaches, nose and throat congestion, body aches, fever, and a host of other symptoms. It is suggested to look into holistic health modalities- homeopathy, herbs and supplements, alternatives to formula, massage, Anthroposophy, chiropractics as alternative therapies to allopathic medicine. Invasive medicine the allopathic way, leaves an indelible impression on the child psyche, like it or not, into adulthood where the behaviors have been so ingrained they are hard to overcome and/or source is unrecognizable. Surgery, hospital trauma, dental trauma registers in the memory cells. Harris L Coulter wrote Vaccination, Social Violence and Criminality: Medical Assault on the American Brain.
One of the WORST inventions for children has been the pacifier (the bottle comes second) laden with plastics and toxic chemicals not to mention disturbing the teeth and tongue thrusting during speech developmental stages. Other causes for childhood diseases are toxic laden paints, varnishes and carpets, even new homes (glue in wood), synthetic clothing (stick to wool, 100% cotton and silk), over stimulating colors and clutter in rooms, lack of sleep.
When an infant and young child are crying in a public place, there are usually three motives- hunger, tired or soiled (in our society today, I have added a fourth- gas or digestive problems as I have found in practice that MOST of the children who come suffer from one form of digestive issue or another, an additional sidebar to the hurried world and synthetic foods). Whenever the parent does not respond to these needs, a negative behavior pattern usually develops such as temper tantrums in stores or disruptive behavior. These are merely attention getting mechanisms acquired by the child in response to needs unmet. WHEN a parent or caregiver recognizes these three needs at the time of appearance and responds appropriately, the child learns to manage the behavior.
Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide to Chinese Medicine by Harriet Beinfield, and Efrem Korngold gives a fundamental analysis of the interconnected of the body, mind and spirit.
10) Keeping It Simple: All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things by Robert Fulghum. Lie Simply so That Other May Simply Live is an excellent philosophy amidst this consumer world. It enables one to develop a ‘simple’ point of view in life as well. A female doctor came with twins who had recurring asthma. Test after test revealed no overt physical malfunction. However, after much research, the mother remembered that the last month prior to birth was in bed with the children having the umbilical cord wrapped around their necks. After some psychological work, the asthma disappeared. The UPSIDE of this desensitizing process is an overabundance of children who are OVER sensitive- to toxins, noise, sounds, odors, chaos and the like rendering them more sensitive on the emotional level as well- frequently moved to tears, the pain of others, compassion, empathy and other sensitive characteristics.
Think of each issue a child might present in its simplest formula. For example,
A child who may show signs of Attention Deficit Disorder may simply be in Need Of Attention. If a doctor induces labor, for the convenience of the physician, you might end up with a Hurried Child or a child who never seems to be With It.
11) Learning as A Way of Life: education vs learning; Human Brain and Human Learning by Leslie A. Hart AND John Holt’s How Children Learn? Are excellent sources for understanding the ‘how’ of childhood learning and development.
Neurophysiologists proclaim that only 1/10th of the brain is used in daily life. WHAT does the other 90% look like and how can it be accessed? Just suppose that the seeming underutilization comes from teaching focus to the exclusion of wholeness and tunnel vision to children, time a linear, experience as two dimensional (on a sheet of paper, on a computer or TV screen), learning about the creativity and ingenuity of others instead of exploring their own. WHAT would happen to those aspects of the brain-mind with a child who has been guided to believe that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is possible that can be conceived by thought? IF I am not limited in thinking that I can only travel with my feet or body in a vehicle propelled by technology that is ALL I am capable of achieving. Just the notion that travel can be achieved in science fiction novels by teleportation includes in the human vocabulary and thought another POSSIBLE mode of transport. Since quantum physics demonstrates non-locality, it is only the mind complemented by the belief system that trains us what is to be seen or unseen in our world.
Expose children to everything- be aware of over stimulation;
Nature- Adam cinematographer; Aaron music and cooking and art
Is it these immeasurable glimpses of intuition, insight, psychic, remote viewing, precognition, etc.
12) Learning as Self-Motivated; vs spoon-fed; Dumbing Us Down by John Gatto.
Allow exploration and non-directed activities- pillows, tents, forts, mirrors, dress-up, blankets, dirt
13) Listening for Teachable Moments; timing vs time-space: TET (Teacher Effectiveness Training) or PET (Parent Effectiveness Training) by Dr. Thomas Gordon.
STOP forced learning- language is learned without assistance; Natives geometry; Jessie Bike/reading.
14) Developing Imaginative Thought; robotic, mimic vs creative thinker
Eyes away from you= deep thought and processing, integration, read to them!!
Competition vs Cooperation
Some people understand life better, And they call some of these people
“retarded”…
At the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or
mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.
At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish
to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy
who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to
cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked
back. Then they all turned around and went back……every one of them. One
girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said,
“This will make it better.” Then all nine linked arms and walked together
to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, the cheering went on
for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story…
Why? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is
more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping
others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. If you
pass this on, we may be able to change our hearts as well as someone else’s.
“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle”
15) Playing as a Learning Tool; entertainment toys/games vs play: O. Fred Donaldson, Ph.D. ’s book Playing By Heart: Vision and Practice of Belonging.
Dec learn about play and toys/ Fred/dolls/hand-eye computer games and computer nephew has twitch. Parents need to learn how to play- tickle, wrestle, not play. MEAN. PLAY-Imitate a Babies Gesture and Language:
Play games by imitation- dat,da, mmmmmm, mamamamama. Play in the restaurant. This is the first sign of trust and communication.
Children use games to reinforce what they learn. Montessori and corn pour.
16) Questioning Authority; follow like sheep
Frustrating for parents and educators WHY? Who’s That? What’s That?
17) Moving Towards the Fulfilled Life: Horoscope vs Cognitive Testing
Every school SHOULD have a child’s horoscope (and/or psychic reading) to define the potential of their talents at birth and enhance those rather than a reading-math test score that does NOT define a child’s ability in life.
There has NEVER been a longitudinal study conducted that demonstrates that high-test scores reflect success in later life or career. The U of NC conducted a study in 1914….
Keeps potential in the back of the mind of the parent to be keenly aware of and watch for signs. (Boy at Yale played violin). Value of reading and math vs everyday living in this dumbing us down world. Focus and expand talents and allow weaknesses to fall by wayside.
18) Socializing Skills Are Found At Home preschool vs social skills
Socialization is learned from the family unit (whatever the composition). How many friends can you juggle at once vs acquaintances? Children cannot manage more than four to six relationships in their life without confusion. Young children need to feel safe and secure in order to flourish. Social skills, despite the glowing reports of social scientists, are STILL primarily learned from parents and siblings! The less interaction with outside others a child has prior to age 12, the less confusion in the foundation and structure of social skills the child develops. If you MUST send your child to daycare, select one of the
Reggio Emilia, Italy Day Cares (main office in Washington, DC). Check out their video and text The Hundred Languages of Children. You will never settle for another learning environment again. The second alternative is Waldorf education (as long as the school is licensed because the Waldorf name is not trademarked or copyrighted and anyone can use it) The third is Montessori education.
19) Building Safe Environments; self directed bedroom, home; Open Connections: The Other Basics by Susan D. Shilcock and Peter A. Bergson define environments as well as Rudolf Steiner’s books.
Child room, home- kids safe. Pots and pans in reach and spoons, etc for banging, water play, making a mess. Walls decorated with subdued colors and prints, animals. Simplicity. No manufactured toys or mobiles. Outdoors- develops eye, coordination, perspective, dimension, and depth. Climb Trees builds trust in own judgment, confidence while playground toys with smooth surfaces unimaginative, lack character and challenge.
ODE Magazine October 2005 issue is an article by Eve Ensler, creator of the Vagina Monologues discusses The Real Meaning Of Security. How our obsessions with protecting ourselves makes us less safe. Safety and security are found within as no life is safe, ‘we all die, get sick, get old, people leave us, surprise us, change us. Nothing is secure. In order to feel this way, children DO NEED roots with opportunities for growth and freedom in open spaces.
Optimizing the Peaceful Child Too Much Too Fast Too Soon- factoids not in depth.
STOP RUNNING: Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon by David Elkind. Relax, Breathe: what do sports teach, roller blade, bike, skateboard; Time to assimilate, integrate, eyes away in space staring. Might be a reflection of the number of children with C-sections in a hurry to go nowhere and do nothing.
20) Schooling At Home: Democratic, Free, Small, Independent, Holistic Schools: The Beginner’s Guide to Home schooling by Patrick Farenga and The Homeschooling Book of Answers by Linda Dobson or Teach Your Own by John Holt.
Alternative Schools: Caring For a New Life by Ron Miller; Teaching As A Lively Art by Marjorie Spock (Rudolf Steiner or Waldorf approach), The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori, Free At Last; The Sudbury Valley School by Daniel Greenburg (Democratic School), The Magazine of the Alternative Education Resource Organization (AERO) Jerry Mintz, National Coalition of Alternative Community Schools, Touch The Future by Michael Mendizza (TTFuture@aol.com), Holistic Education Review, Vermont; Encounter-Education for Meaning and Social Justice, Mothering Magazine and The Mother Magazine (www.ink.uk.com).
21) Remembering Children First, Pride, EGO and Convention Later
Kids need to explore, make mistakes and do stupid things. The values of one generation are lost to others. Courtesy, gratitude and others are NEVER out of style. Lila and Suryea Lipscomb, owners of Mind, Body, Spirit, are examples of conscious birthing personified. The proud parents of an adopted little boy from his gestation and through birth. He is a reflection of the kind of parenting skills every child might experience. As his mom and I were speaking at Whole Foods, our toddler at age two, occupied himself for at least half an hour manipulating the shopping cart from outside into the grocery store. He demonstrated calm assurance, tenacity in his pursuit, safety and security that mom would be there to assist (which she did when asked) if asked and total focus on his project. Never once did he exhibit frustration or anxiety as the cart, more than twice his size, was being guided from one open crevice to another until finally he found the appropriate size opening. Not only was he successful but also was adamant to push the cart into the store as a reward for his struggles. In every aspect, this child, without any overt clues, demonstrated a sense of confidence, safety, security and calm in the face of challenge. It is obvious that this is a child who stays at home with Mom. Self-Centered Builds Self-Esteem, Security; vs self-absorbed
People with holes to fill; needy
Young children aren’t supposed to have long attention spans yet when motivated they forget to eat!
22) Leading By Example;
Whatever your behavior, your children will mimic. Nature follows the model. Fish DO NOT act like birds. Philly black woman at bus stop, Adam years later. Genetics-Sins of parents of the second and third generation- missing the mark (unresolved issues of parents are inherited by children). Genetics, physiology, (liver from alcohol; brain damage from drugs) behavior, emotions
23) Growing Healthy Children from Healthy Parents: NOT PERFECT PARENTS
Learn to respond to adversity NOT react; guilt free yet with conscience; do as I say not as I do; behavior and beliefs are often old adages. Freeze Frame by Doc Lou Childre and The Magic of Conflict: Turning A Life of Work into a Work of Art
by Thomas F. Crum for both teaching your children successful skills during conflict; if eat chips and junk food kids will too. Supermom and dad- work, run, Bohemian lifestyles for kids.
8) Recognizing Subliminal Messages from Media like Mantra :
Mantras are profound tools for reprogramming the brain. It seems that corporate establishment has devised subliminal uses of mantra. Repeated ads on TV, billboards, songs, jingles, even belief and behaviors can become repeated mantras ‘money is the root of all evil’.
Children First! A Parent’s Guide to Fighting Corporate Predators in the Media by Ralph Nader describes the clever strategies corporate use to sell products and keep in mainstream. Example is the 1050’s with the Dairy and Cattleman’s Association did in the public schools.
Corporate Predators by
Pepsi generation Simpson’s
24) Self-Learning Through the Eyes of Children as Teachers:
Children are Best Teachers for Parents;
Business motivated by children and health; if irritated or frustrated, there is a lesson to be learned from the experience; be willing to unlearn everything you learned were taught or thought you knew. And A Parenting Manual: Heart Hope for the Family by and
Children need Roots and Wings within a Framework of Safety and Security.
Roots and wings in a world of divorce is next to impossible.
The behaviors established in gestation and the first 12 years of life are critical elements in adult behavior, belief and action.
Lots of Experience to Find Interests
Read, outdoors,
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Like is a beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it. Mother Theresa